Given my hiatus of blogging….I figured lets jump right back into it. After all, I feel like I can tell you anything Internet. I know it will stay just between you and me.
Lets rewind for a while, while I give you all far more information about me than you’d ever want to know. Many moons ago, I was on the regular garden variety birth control. One day I noticed that I passed a whole pill through my ileostomy…and I promptly FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. I don’t need any storks dropping by my casa. So I talked to my doctor and switch the to NuvaRing. Fast forward to my last surgery and Dr. Remzi took it upon himself to remove the ring, and not tell me. So my cycle was all off cycle, ya know. So…in the process of cycling…during my recovery I had the joy of a 3 week period. Awesome. During this time…I realized…Hey, my vag is totally smaller now. Not smaller opening, but smaller inside. Weird. Shocking…like usual NO ONE at Cleveland has mentioned this could be an issue. So I did what any self respecting 20-something would do. GOOGLED IT. Turns out…YEA lots of women have this issue. So I call Vicki and she says, Psh no one ever has that issue. Awesome.
But it was very clear that all my junk was not in the right spots or whatever. So I made an appointment with my lady doctor and had her invade my personal bubble and check it out. She said oh yea, your vagina is tilted now. Awesome. So then came the questions in the form of verbal vomit. They pretty much came out something like this: What about sex? I mean can I have sex? Like what if it hurts during sex? Will it hurt during sex? When can I have sex? CAN I EVER HAVE SEX AGAIN? WOMAN ANSWER ME.
Basically she said, “Uh, I don’t know”. She told me she thought all my parts would eventually get back to normal, and essentially if not…get on top. I know, she seriously said that.
So in the process of freaking out about this..I told a bunch of my close girlfriends about this. Even now…a few weeks later…I’m still getting questions like, “hey, hows your vag? Did it get bigger yet?”. Yup, this is my life.
Fast forward to now…it is technically 2 weeks before I’m supposed to resume any activities….of any kind. Lets just say…the eagle has landed…and it was a smooth landing. I’m not sure what that means for shoving other things up there like the NuvaRing, but I’d venture to say that I’ll tell you about it when it happens.
Jeez Internet, I’m so glad we can talk so openly.
LOL Pics or it didn’t happen.
Are we talking tiny vag pics or eagle landing pics? Either way, not gonna happen. But I’d be glad to google it for you. 🙂
I was wondering where you were…and you are cracking me up! Don’t mean to be laughing about your vag issues…but honestly, since my surgery, I am a bit nervous about the “eagle landing”. like I want my bag flopping about…yea sure…that’s sexy… lol!!!
Julie, something I learned early. So many people are so afraid of intimacy when they have their bag, and they feed you this bullshit line about “if the person loves you, it wont matter” blah blah. Its all bullshit. Here is what you do..empty it before bed, or whenever you anticipate the banging. Then put on a belly band of some kind (order those ones from amazon I wrote about). Call it a day.
Seriously, it stays in place, you can’t really hear it, aside from the band you don’t know its there….and I’m pretty sure the band isn’t a deterrent. All I gotta say is don’t punish yourself for however long you’ll have your bag.
I was not about to sacrifice that because my ass, is an asshole. Its all about finding good ways to hide it. There are some companies who make stuff to hide it, and make it look all cutsey like. But I think they look completely retarded and would never spend the $60 on some stupid heart thingy that just attracts more attention than a shit bag does.
Bang on, sista.
Oh my god, Jackie. LOL
I’m just here to help.
Just wondering about this whole tilted vag thing. Ever since my j-pouch hook up, things have def been off. Like, intercourse-really-freaking-hurts off. It can’t be scar tissue, because the actual j-pouch construction with ostomy didn’t affect things down there. It just started acting weird after they hooked me back up. So I think the whole tilted lady pole makes sense. Any suggestions???
Ok like I said, my stupid nurse made me feel like an idiot and that this NEVER happens to anyone. Well thanks to the wonders of the internet…I have found a lot of other ladies who have had very similar issues. I am happy to report that my vag now allows things up there with little to no issue.
But I can tell things aren’t still back to 100%. Can I deal like this? Yup.
For me they said it was all jumbled because of the swelling it…sooo if you’re post op and all closed up and all that jazz..I’m not sure. Honestly, if you haven’t already I would check out http://www.jpouch.org/ go to their discussion forums, the womens section and post questions.
I posted about the vag there and gotta a lot of responses quickly with women telling me they had the same problems. I do have a friend who has reported that she had some issues with pain too afterwards, and she said it did get better, but every once in a while they’ll hit a nerve if you know what I mean and not in a good way.
Also I would suggest getting on top, ride that cowboy, that way you are in control. My gynecologist basically said that it may never go back for me, and that would mean different positions. Maybe you gotta get creative? I dunno dude. I would suggest that forum though if you haven’t already. And if you want, I can get you in contact with my friend. Happy Humpin.