My Life as a Bag Lady

Well its been 6 days since I became an official bag lady. There a lot to adjust to, but I’m doing shockingly better than I thought I would.

There were a lot of things that I didn’t know about the bag before I started research and before I had one. So here an informational post. If you don’t want the detail of my new plumbling…sorry pal.
Fun Facts:
There are 1 piece and 2 piece systems.  Each has its perks, I chose the 2 piece so I can “burp” it when it gets gassy.
I don’t poop out my bum, but I still fart. Its weird. Really weird. The bag holds the fart air and it inflates. Strange.
The bag has a velcro type closure on the bottom, it sort of rolls and folds.
To empty the bag, so far I’ve found it easier to sit on the toilet backwards…this is a strange thing to do. People in public restrooms will think I’m strange.
It takes forever so far to empty, because you have to clean the opening really well so it doesn’t leak and smell like poo all the time. It also takes a lot of toilet paper.
You change the bag 2 times a week. You have to take off the flange (if you have a 2 piece) and  stick a new one to your skin. If your skin isn’t flat or has ripples you have to use a paste to fill in the dips so you don’t get a leak. Leaks are gross. I hope I don’t get one.
I find the bag to be super long and difficult thus far to hide in my clothes, I may try a smaller bag, most companies give out free samples.
The stoma is a really strange thing. Super strange. I named mine Stella because it seriously has a personality.
You have to measure your stoma every week because the damn thing changes in size. Apparently it gets smaller, which is k by me but you have to cut a hole in the flange that matches the size of your stoma.
If you have the wrong size, I think thats probably bad newsies.
This picture below is probably one of my favorite ones of all time. More to come later