Hospitals are weird places. Hygeine…not so much important. They give you a bunch of stuff to clean yourself, no water soaps and crappy tooth brushes but no one really uses them. 
Only in the hospital can you go a week without a shower and its not a big deal…and somehow you don’t stink. Its really strange. Also your hair doesn’t get greasy…hospitals break all hygiene barriers. I’ve seen a lot of products in the hopsital to keep patients clean from dry shampoos to the latest and not so greatest thing I found to day.
This magical thing is a shower cap that you heat up in the microwave and then you shampoo your head in it. I know, right.
Its got shampoo AND conditioner in it so you just sorta swoosh your hair around in it and then tada…clean head…..in theory. Well after an official week without showering today I decided to give it a go. The shower cap that is, not the shower. Showering while with an IV and other crap is a MEGA hassle. So I use the shower cap…it wasn’t great but I guess it did the job, it feels like cheapo motel shampoo. I’m not talkin nice, hilton style steal it for later shampoo, like airport Ho-Jo motel shampoo. Stuff you might not even use on your dog. But I guess its better than nothing.
Then I used the no rinse body wash…which is weird. Its like you put it on a washcloth and rub it on your skin and thats it…tada…clean! I guess.
This is what I used today.
Also…tooth brushing…doesn’t happen while in the hospital. You try to, you want to, but you just dont. And if you forget yours be prepared to get the WORSE toothbrush ever. The bristles were literally like the length of my pinkie. HUGE. Hospitals mean well, and they try to make things nice and convenient for people who can’t move a lot, or are, you know, dying. However, its just not so great, I dont really think that they work so well.
So anyway, this entry sucked. But what I’m trying to say is, people are unshowered and stinky in the hospital, and its totally ok.
Also. Ps…hospital WTF is up with telling me I can’t drink water but I can eat ice chips? Last time I checked..it was the same thing?!
In a way, you were lucky, in that the hospital staff apparantly didn’t harass you everyday to bathe. The first thing every single day, for the whole 23 day hospital stay, my nurse’s aid came in and started in on what was our plan for the day. Me, I wanted to lay on my doped up ass and watch tv. No…we had to have a sponge bath and walk. I luckily was able to brush my teeth. For some reason, my favorite thing to do while there was brush my teeth and rinse my mouth with cold water and drool into the pink little basin. Weird.
Yea I def had a few people be like, so you gonna take a shower today? Meh, screw those people. I don’t think that the nurses realize what an ordeal a shower is. (maybe they do) But not only is it a matter of getting your ass out of bed, but its ok lets cover this IV, tape it off, and hope it doesn’t get all stupid. Then oh hope it doesn’t hurt too much to let water run over your brand new wounds, and lets hope you can lift your arms long enough to wash your hair. THEN have a ball drying off. A 10 minute shower has now taken like 45 minutes. No thank you. I would rather use dry shampoo and a no rinse soap, thank you very much. Yes, maaaybe I get a little stinky but shit, hospital showering sucks. Its hard, its a lot of work and it makes you tired. I’m with you…leave me alone…and keep the drugs coming. Although perhaps next few hospital rounds I’ll make teeth brushing a priority. Its a pain in the ass, and when you’re on a clear liquid diet its totally optional in my book. Not to mention, I dont want anyone in the hospital that close to my face….so perhaps a mean case of morning breath can tackle that.