Dear Colitis,
You have really sucked up a lot of time in my life, but tonight I’m headed to Cleveland and I will be returning without you. Tomorrow I have a slew of appointments scheduled with a ton of doctors for make sure I’m surgery ready. You’ve done a lot of body destroying over the last year, and I’m still pretty pissed about that. You’re a real jerk. Well colitis, I’d love to say that you taught me a lot and its all been worth it…but thats a lie. I’ve met some great people and got a huge lesson in humility, but I still wish that you wouldn’t have picked on me. I was hoping we would have figured out a way to get along, but it appears as though you’re stupid and stubborn. So long. Jerk.
Love,
Jackie
_______________________________
Dear Colon,
Hey, how ya been? Sick I would assume. Its been a long ride colon, we’ve know each other a long time here, over 25 years. I feel like we started out friends and over time…we just grew apart. You no longer give me what I need out of this relationship. I won’t really miss you, but chances are I’ll think of you everyday. The memories we’ve shared together. I’m gonna ask the surgeon to take a few pictures of you..maybe even a video. Weird, I know. But seeing pictures turned out to be a great learning tool for me when I started this process. Hopefully someone else will get the same benefit. Plus I want to see how sick you really are. Anyhoo, I gotta get going. Peace out, I hope you have fun the bio-hazard waste party.
Love,
Jackie
________________________________________________
Dear Butt,
Good news! You get to take a HUGE break for a while. I know you’ve been workin really hard lately, and I appreciate that. So you know, enjoy your vacation. I hope you get to do some fun stuff. Perhaps have a few margaritas or something. I dunno…can butts do that? Probably not. Well thats pretty much all I’ve got for now. We’ll reconvene at a later date when you need to get my ass back to working. Literally, like the plumbing and what not.
Love,
Jackie
You are so funny. Living with this kind of crap, all you can do sometimes is try to find the humor in it. I have spent the afternoon reading your blog. I wish I had done this for myself. Reading your blog so far is like reading about my own life. I had UC and had my colon removed two years ago. Had the illeostomy for one year and had take down last April. One year with the j pouch. It’s been better than UC, but I have some issues I am dealing with. Hope your surgery is a total success.
Just now stumbled across you site. Really love your sense of humor (and for those of us with this awful disease we gotta have one, or its easy to fall into dark depression.
As you have written letters to your colon, I have named mine. He’s the General, as in General Colon Powell – Why someone would name their kid that, i don’t know. Reason for naming it “General”, well, it’s pretty simple, no matter what kind of day i’m having, no matter where i’m at, or who im with, if he orders me to to the bathroom in a moments notice, i’m there….and running. He’ll destroy me without hesitation through bad cramps and pain..
My relationship with the general began in 2008 when I was dx’d. Since then he has been kickin my A$$ every day with pain, bleeding, and many other things that we IBDer’s have to go through constantly. Sick of his daily punishment, i’m getting ready for jpouch surgery.
Anyway – love the website and stay strong. We’ll win this war together.